DTK Blog: Master Life’s Work

Tune in to David’s appearance on Exit Coach Radio with Bill Black on July 22, 2016.  Exit Coach Radio is the Business Owner Information Station for Business Succession, exit Planning and Business Continuity.

Questions Answered:

1. I hear that the term “Work-Life Balance” makes you crazy. What is it that gets you so riled up?
2. You talk a lot about how entrepreneurs get caught up in chasing the wrong markers or measures… You believe there’s too much focus on top-line? And maybe even too much focus on the bottom-line?
3. What’s the methodology you use as the foundation for your work?

“Meet Your Saboteurs; Get In Alignment With Them: Take the free online Saboteur Assessment (from Positive Intelligence author Shirzad Chamine). Review the results. Now, get to what your internal negative voices are saying, their origin and how normal it is to have them. Yes, they’re normal. And no, they will not go away, but we can learn to deal with them.”

Everyone battles their inner critic at some point or another, but those of us who succumb to this voice end up believing it. See how other members of Forbes Coaches Council suggest how to be less critical and more affirming in our lives.

“Replace the Negative Thoughts: We don’t overcome negative thought patterns, we replace them. For most of us, those negative thought patterns are well-worn neural pathways.”

Four simple steps:

1. Notice when you have started the pattern.
2. Acknowledge that its a pattern you want to change.
3. Articulate what you want to be different.
4. Choose a different behavior — one that serves your goals.

You view the world through your mental attitude. If that attitude is predominantly negative, it can impact everything, including health, career, family, and more. Furthermore, negative thinking can have a spiraling effect that attracts more negative thinking. Luckily, we can slowly train ourselves over time on how to think by implementing simple techniques.

“Come From A Place Of Collaboration: The weakness isn’t in asking for feedback; it’s failing to accept it, truly hear it, and be willing to integrate it. Here’s an example of how to seek feedback on a specific issue: Explain the situation as you see it. Then say, ‘Here are the two or three solutions I see, I’m leaning towards this one, and here’s why. I’d like your input on my view of the situation, the options I’ve identified, and my choice.’ Then listen.”

It’s not always easy to ask for employee feedback, especially if you don’t have an effective method for doing so. If your voice says one thing, but your body language says the opposite, for instance, employees may not be inclined to be honest with you.

Most employees want to be heard. In fact, giving them the opportunity to contribute will help them invest personal stake in the company. But how do you do it in a way that develops rapport and gains you respect?

“Don’t Take Things So Personally:  High reactivity often comes from elevated personal investment. In other words, when we take things personally. That’s a state of amygdala-hijack. First, breathe. Reclaim the brain. Second, shift perspective. People are usually clear on what they want from another person. When we are clear what we want for the other person, it allows us to take things less personally and be more deliberate.”

It’s easy to misinterpret what other people say and do, but this can lead to internal conflicts. A team that spends a lot of time dealing with misunderstandings loses valuable time devoted to being productive. Correcting a misunderstanding is much harder than learning to think before acting. When in control of your reactions, you can better evaluate current situations, see better solutions, and establish rapport with other employees.